Tales from Oktoberfest Past

I’m a huge Oktoberfest fan. Great German Lagers, Dirndl’s that proudly showcase a woman’s chest, green plastic Alpine feathered pimp hats and the always fashionable Lederhosen printed T-shirts. With Oktoberfest starting in a couple weeks I wanted to reflect on its awesomeness.

Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian and Salma Hayeck in Dirndls really stuffs my brat casing.

OC has a few great options for Oktoberfest:

The Phoenix Club in Anaheim (starts 9/16)
Old World in HB (Starts 9/4!).
San Clemente also has one, but I’ve never been.

First Story: the Jägermeister tour bus – With a seven month pregnant wife, I hit the Phoenix Club. A few beers in I was talking to the Jaeger girls and tried to get an impromptu tour of their bus. From what I recall, they declined. We did a shot, high fived and and took this photo. I don’t recall much after that.

my pregnant wife kicked me in the balls five seconds after this photo.

Second: Shooting range winnings! The Phoenix club has an Olympic air rifle shooting range that they turn into an arcade through Oktoberfest. My friend and I combined our winnings and picked up a sweet Celine Dion mousepad. If you’re ever done it, you’ll know how incredibly hard it is to hit the small 1″ target bullseye three times at 50 feet while drunk.

I won it for you, René!

3 – Dancing 70 year old lady with a panda head. That is all.

do not sexually harass her.

4 – Going to the grocery store on the way home from Oktoberfest someone had the bright idea of buying more beer. German Lager must be a creeper buzz as the drunkeness hit so hard I had to hold on to endcaps in the store to get around. I scored 50 Bonus points when my wallet exploded in line attempting to pay. To this day I’m still surprised they sold to me! I had the spins something fierce that night. I haven’t been that slammed since college, and haven’t since.

5 – I went to an Oktoberfest with my father in-law and took the photo just below. A year later, the SAME lady asked me “wo ist dein Vater”? (where is your father) I was like, no way she remembers two drunks taking their pic…she said “mit dem Pferdeschwanz” (with the ponytail) pointing to her hair. I was shocked she remembered us a year later! Freaking awesome! Hopefully she will remember us this year.