The only snakes in Ireland are the roads. Photo by Greg Nagel
I haven’t written a lot about St. Patricks Day, as it’s more of a “drinking” day than it is a “beer” day, and we, as in, you and I, have made the day less of celebrating Irish heritage, and more about:
- Putting green dye in gross beer
- Eating the world’s saddest corned beef “tacos”
- Flogging some poor gal named Molly
- Creepy-ass Leprechauns!
I’ve been to Ireland, and the beer they drink is BLACK. Corned beef? Turns out it was invented by the BRITISH. The lore behind it is also completely fake, as St. Patrick never drove SNAKES out of Ireland because THE COUNTRY IS TOO FUCKING COLD FOR SNAKES AND NEVER HAD THEM TO BEGIN WITH.
On St. Patrick’s day, we decorate the house with Irish trinkets, wear green, and cook up a mean Irish meal complete with some beer brewed at St. James Gate, but I’ve seen a trend pop up recently and hope it sticks: Frühlingsfest, aka the German celebration of spring.
Frühlingsfest is sort of like Oktoberfest, but smaller, bringing in around 1.2 million guests as opposed to 6 million in October. Although Germans usually kick their fests off in April (probably due to weather), our first day of spring is March 20th, so why not dust off that old stein, leather pants (lederhosen), and dirndl to get in the mood? Here are a couple events worth checking out:
Maybe more? I’ll update this if anyone else is jumping on the spring festival train!
Green Beer is American Pale Light Lager brewed with government subsidized corn and rice. Add a few drops of (potentially toxic) green food coloring and you’re perpetuating a stupid American tradition that makes Kathy Ireland cry! Sure, people in Ireland drink more and more light beer, but if your lads caught you adding green drops to your beer they would surely laugh until they barfed over the Blarney Stone!
Proper pitching rate achieved.
Everyone likes a little Irish in them from time to time, right? Since true Irish craft doesn’t make its way across the pond (yet), I really like Guinness Foreign Extra Stout. Guinness’ older, stronger brother. Look for the yellow label! Not shipped to the US until a couple years ago!
Bootleggers Knuckle Sandwich DIPA: Fresh Knuckle is available everywhere this week! Its (sort of) reddish hue can fake your 1% Irish heritage into thinking you’re drinking an Irish Red. At 10% ABV, you’ll surely get the gift of gab and stumble around like a drunken Irishman. This weekend, check out their new tasting room with Knuckle on cask w/Citra hops Friday and their grand opening party on Saturday.
Ain’t no party like a Dublin party!
At the end of the rainbow in Brea, there’s GABF Silver waiting for you…grab a growler of TAPS Irish Red! Their Sunday brunch is no Irish Breakfast, but it’s VERY solid. Later in the day they have a special ‘Green’ menu that is worthy of a jig.
When I think Irish beer, I think session. My favorite local session beer right now is Cismontane Brewing’s Holy Jim Falls XPA. Huge hop aroma and low ABV keeps me happy! I plan on cooking my corned beef and cabbage with a bottle as well. Cismontane brewer David Larsen is 25% Leprechaun (I think) so it’s legit!
What are you drinking? Be sure to follow me on Instagram and Untappd!