Pump up the Volume, Pump up the Volume, Pump up the Volume, Dance, Dance! The song bellowed out of my roommate Rob’s stereo in his restored black ’64 Pontiac GTO. His out-of-style Z Cavaricci pants squeek-farting across the leather seats, the smell of Drakkar Noir and cigarette butts wafting through the air. Yes, Rob was a little out of date with style. The year? 1995. The place? Goat Hill Tavern in Newport/Costa Mesa. I ask for a local Ale, barkeep pours me a Bayhawk. I drank it, burped, then probably peed sometime later. Beer in the 90’s was different. It seemed a lot simpler than it is now. Styles were stuck to for the most part. I don’t recall much about that beer, other than it was my first Bayhawk, and it felt cool to drink a locally produced beer.
Fast Forward until now, Bayhawk is pumping up the volume. At capacity to crank out 10K barrels, they managed to squeeze over 8,000 in 2010. To put that into perspective, newer breweries in OC do around 1000, if that. Chances are, many of you have had a beer brewed by Bayhawk without realizing it. Ever order a house beer at Lucilles Smokehouse or Outback Steakhouse? If so, Bayhawk made it. I’ve enjoyed the house Heffe at Lucilles. That beer makes up around 50% of their production. They also contract brew for a few local breweries.
I made the trek to their brewery and sat down with George Smith, their head of sales to see how the bird is doing.
Bayhawk is situated in a high end corporate business plaza on Main Street near Jamboree in the back of McCormick and Schmicks. I pulled in to the parking garage and noted a Lotus Esprit and a Maserati waiting to be valet parked a few feet from BH’s doors. Next to a red carpet and velvet ropes, a door with the BayHawk Ales logo sits off to the side like a janitor’s closet. I arrived early and settled into the Pilsner Room for happy hour, a high end bar at the back of McS’s. The bar area has a decent happy hour, an ample bottle selection and a nice view of the Bayhawk brew tanks. I ordered up a flight of Bayhawk (pun intended) which included a Chocolate Porter, Amber Ale, Hef, and a Honey Blonde. Tasters were standard 4oz on a tasting paddle. I always start dark to light by habit as IPA’s tend to kill the buds, but this isn’t necessary with BH brews. I think their avg IBU is around 25.
I dusted the flight and took a few notes. I tried not to let pre-conceived notions get in the way of just relaxing and enjoying some beers. Starting with the porter, I prefer a porter to be a big beer and this seemed like a session brew. Light chocolate notes as expected, thin mouthfeel, slightly metallic. The Amber Ale was my favorite of the bunch with pleasant caramel malt that reminded me of a light version of a Scotch Ale (perhaps a 60 schilling?) with some extra spicy notes. The Heffe didn’t have a lot of the traditional banana or clove yeast going on from a traditional German Hef. Perhaps a California recipe? I expect some yeasty aromas or it’s a simple unfiltered wheat beer. The taster was served with a small lemon wedge which was surprising. The Honey Blonde was possibly the lightest body beer I’ve drank in some time, which had some honey notes. Overall the flight was a good representation of what BH does. I grabbed a pint of the Amber Ale, looked at my watch and checked in with George.
Sitting down with George Smith, Bayhawk’s head of sales, and he instantly answered almost every question I had for him without having to be asked. I like that in a sales person, and was mad at myself for not having better questions. He filled me in on stuff like low ratings on BA and RB and how they attempt to correct poor storage issues at stores. He also stated Bayhawk is looking at a suitable place to move. As stated above, their location limits the hours of production.
Chances are if you’re a beer geek, you’ll pass over a Bayhawk beer, which is fine. The market they go after is converting the BMC people, contract brewing, and private brewing for other breweries. The volume they put out shows there’s a market for it and the quality on tap I can vouch for. If you’re ever at Lucilles or Outback, make sure and ask for their house brews!
We were somewhere around Irvine, on the edge of Wild Rivers, when the craft beer began to take hold. I remember saying something like I feel a bit lightheaded. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around us, and a voice was screaming! Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?
Wave my hand in front of my face, despite daylight, traces by like a strobe light in some rundown night club in bad part of Vegas. I still have three drink tickets left. It seems like I’ve been here for days. I need a shower or maybe some wet wipes. There’s a lake by the Maui Brewing Company EZ-Up. I want to dive in the lake then steal some clothes from the tent like some sort of deranged homeless man. The lake is frothy green with an Island inhabited by a secret society of rare beer hoarders.
Maui Brewing Sign and the green lake await me. Yes, that is an orange bug with a mohawk in the background.
There was a large rumble that made me drop to one knee. It happened, again, and again. It sounded like a bear attack was immanent. I peer down to my feet only to realize it’s my stomach. I hadn’t eaten since that Del Taco in Berdoo. Found a place with Duck Tacos and a Spicy Pickle; the kind of meal only a Gypsy on Mescaline might eat. The server at Stone World Bistro asked if I like spicy food as his face morphed into Gargoyle, then back to Greg Koch face. I freeze, almost drooling while gazing into his eyes and answer “Yes” as if we had some sort of brotherly bond. He held out a pickled Habanero, which I ate happily.
One bite and the entire sky turned red. A large mushroom cloud clung over a nearby hill. Large white spots inhabited my field of vision. I collapsed weeping in a drunken heap with my mouth ablaze.
A face appears out of a cloud like an Angel. I’ve seen this person, maybe on youtube, interviewing local breweries. Is it the Squeeze My Orange gal? She grabs me by the collar and drags me to a Belgium brewer for a pour of Houblon Chouffe Dobbelen IPA.
One sip of the beer brings me back to a semi-conscious reality. She laughs hysterically at nothing which makes me nervous. I laugh equally to not appear like some sort of beer geek asshole. I ask if I should call her “Squeeze” or “Miss Orange”. She bats her lashes and says “Cynthia” then we both burst into laughter until we were choke-cough-laughing. I offer to be her spirit guide on this vision quest and she agrees. I meet her video crew, Asha and Matthew, possibly the cutest couple ever. I’m in. “Let’s get Panda” I say, “Panda is so drunk that you’ll be sitting off in the woods eating some bamboo, perhaps my baby Panda will sneeze, scaring the shit out of us.” “Chin Chin!” Yelps Cynthia.
Over near the Bruery and Sudwerk’s tent, there’s a, uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, carnival ride, coming straight at us. Cynthia says “SHOOT IT!” Not yet, I want to study its habits. Look, there’s two women fucking a polar bear! “Don’t tell me these things. Not now man” says Cynthia. She opts for the Bruery Autumn Maple and I go German and grab a Sudwerk Fest Märzen.
“What’s the score here” I ask, “just one ticket sir, are you okay?” There was madness in any direction, at any hour. We could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. We were, after all, the absolute cream of the Orange County beer blogger scene.
wonder bloggers unite! Form of…HOPS
As we mull about the beer fest, reality kicks in. The three wrist bands on each of our arms reminds us we are here with press passes. I stop and open up my smartphone gallery app, thankfully I’ve recorded and photographed quite a bit. That app is very handy for piecing together brownouts. Here’s what I managed to piece together with phone media of the last two hours:
Got my ass, pass, and glass without any wait, I headed to a line. Oh here we go! Previous beer fests are a virtual möbius strip of lines filled with angry drunks.
Had I known the line was for a free pour of Stone’s 15th Anniversary Ale I would have chilled the fuck out. From there, folks gathered in a small amphitheater for a quick speech from Dr. Bill of Stone Brewing Company. “Welcome to the Revolution!” Nothing like a good Beer Sermon on the state of craft brewing to get me revved for the day. We raised and clanked, then headed out to the gardens.
I grabbed my second beer and walked the gardens to get the lay of the land. As there was no formal map or itinerary, I made mental notes of who I wanted to stop at and where they were. The crowd was pleasant! A huge mix of people with one thing in common: beer. Talking to several people with basic questions like “what are you drinking?” and “where are you from?” and my favorite “what brought you here?” were pretty basic. Many of the answers were “uh, I dunno, I got it from over there” and “earth” and “beer” were basic answers. Fair enough.
Most breweries had 2-4 styles to choose from. Nice to see almost all OC represented. (Shame on you Anaheim Brewery, we missed you! 1888 and your Heffe would have been nice to see and would have been well received. If you do one festival a year, this would be it). There was such a good mix of good breweries. Two I couldn’t find: Crispin Cider and Russian River that were on the bill. All the people with Pliny the Elder shirts were probably bummed.
The Addisons Homebrew Provisions (homebrew store) tent head a steady flow of people asking questions during the brew demo. Don from Backhouse Brewing was cooking up something nice, while Mr. Burch fielded the questions out front. Great to taste some top-notch homebrew from AHP’s club; Scott’s Big IPL was on tap (Karl Strauss homebrew winner), as was Backhouse Brewing’s Hemp Ale. Great to see such an interest in homebrewing. I heard from a gal at work who’s parents were at the fest, they said they were going to start brewing!
The day before the 9/11 tenth anniversary, Firefighters pouring beer at each tent was beyond cool. This did a few things…it freed up the brewers to ask questions, which was super convenient for me. It was also nice if someone passed out or something, hell, you’re surrounded by firefighters. I only saw two cops the entire day, shockingly there were eating fried dough at the time. The biggest line I was in was around ten deep, and took less than 3 minutes to get my pour. Aces!
Food: Tons of options with no lines; only gripe, not a lot of vegetarian or vegan options, this is OC. Some people don’t dig on the meats. Seabirds Truck would have been awesome to keep everyone happy.
Restrooms: outdoor four person urinal things were awesome. Restrooms were plenty and great for dudes. Girls had some lines. The porta potty lines went pretty fast. The hand-wash station was out of water by 2:30 (event closed at 3).
I peed in one of these things. It was awesome. (pic from another site)
Music: KROQ DJ and KROQ style cover band, bagpipers were awesome. It wasn’t overwhelming or too loud.
Other: there was a crazy carnival spinny ride thingy. I didn’t see anyone riding it. I would have but didn’t want to risk spraying the Bruery with a bell full of craft beer and duck tacos.
Crazy List of what I put in my belly in chronological order:
Stone 15 Anniversary
Maui CoCoNut Porter
Cismontane Citizen California Common
Sudwerk Fest Marzen*
Food: Stone World Bistro duck taco, spicy pickle, pickled Habarnero
Houblon Chouffe Dobbelen IPA
Maui Mana Wheat
Craft Stout/Rasp wheat blend (OMG so good)
Iron Fist Spice of Life (saison)
Scotts Big IPL – Homebrew/Karl Strauss winner
Food: Home Skillet Truck Lamb Burger (best looking food truck crew ever!) Lamb Burger was soooo goood.
Old Orange Brewing Street Fair Kolsch
Another Sudwerk Fest Märzen (almost a full pint!)
Backyard Brew Hemp Ale – Homebrew at the Addisons Homebrew Provisions Tent
Widmer Nelson DIPA (just a sip)
DFH 90 min IPA
*Favorite of the fest. Bootleggers took the fan favorite at the event. Aaron Barkenhagen was seen drinking some beer out of his trophy.
Fest Marzen, I love you. Not every day I come home in love with a lager!
I couldn’t focus on the numbers when they were reading them off.
Gripes: It would have been great to have a map with an itinerary of the speakers. If there was one, I didn’t see it. I could have geeked out and put numbers on it or something. I didn’t know the tickets were for a drawing, or when the drawing was. I didn’t know who was speaking when. There was an after party, but without any communication we were left standing around not knowing where it was. This is mice nuts though, I had a great time!
Overall: Orange County Brew Ha Ha promises to be the best beer fest in California, or the US, or the World for that matter. I came for craft beer and got more than I could imagine. I chatted with countless brewers and got some great stories from each. I love this job, if you can’t tell.
I highly recommend this fest for anyone new to craft beer as there was something for everyone.
Large portions of this blogpost are inspired by or tweaked quotes from either the book or movie “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” by Hunter S. Thompson.
Alarm on my phone goes off playing a random song; today it’s Frank Turner’s “I am Disappeared”. Oh the irony of waking up to that song in particular. Pop and toss my proper incognito non-beer logo clothes. Boom…what the hell? Thunder? Noooooo. It is. Crap. Where the hell is my rain jacket? Bust out the Wahl clippers for a little manscaping…gotta be sexy for all these brews.
On my drizzly drive down to the Fest, I ponder the parallels that can be drawn with beer and women. As Homer Simpson once said, “They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!” I wonder if Homer has ever tried a Flanders Red! Shockingly a lot of the BJCP judging guidelines can apply to judging, say, a new lady or man friend. Know the guidelines by heart? Appearance, head, smell, taste, mouthfeel, and overall are the basics. How did your friend judge to style? Is she a Stout Irish lass or a bit on the Wee Heavy side? Blonde Ale? A Robust Porter? Personally I prefer cold, dark, and bubbly gals, I mean beer. Yeah.
If all this is true, one could easily apply a person equivalent to any beer out there. Here’s a few OC beers and who I think would represent them:
The Bruery – Orchard WhiteGweneth Paltrow. Pale straw yellow beer with slight hints of lavender, Apple and other fruits. Goes good with English Cheese, perhaps a Devon Blue. She has a kid named Apple, right? Holy Moses! Pictured here near an orchard, in a white top, next to Lavender. What are the odds of that? Obviously Patrick Rue’s inspiration. I wonder who the inspiration was for Orchard Black.
Bootleggers – Knuckle Sandwich, Kristina Hendricks. A 10% ABV beer goes well with a perfect 10 gal in my book. Strong, perfumy aroma, reddish hue, and handles a bunch of Mad Men drunks. This picture is from the Golden Globes. Is it just me, or is SHE the Golden Globes?
Anaheim Brewery – Hefeweissen = Gwen Stefani. There’s no doubt if Mrs. Stefani ever came back to her home town, she would go B-A-N-A-N-A-S for this beer. Big time banana and clove in this traditional German Heffe. No beating around the Bush here, folks, this beer rocks steady and is hella good.
Old Orange Brewery – Street Fair, Heidi Klum. As an avid Project Runway fan (don’t ask), I know Heidi is from Germany. Where in Germany? Cologne. What kind of beer comes from Cologne? Kölsch! What kind of beer is Street Fair? Kolsch Style! Got milk? Heidi does! I hope so with ten kids! I hear she clubs a baby Seal from time to time.
Cismontane – Coulter IPA = Ann Coulter. Aside from the obvious name, it’s a conservative IPA, decent body with minimal head. This is the first and last political joke you’ll see on this blog, promise. Sorry Cismontane. If I come up with a better one I’ll edit this out. I do really love you guys.
Bayhawk – Honey Blonde = Pamela Anderson. Bayhawk and Baywatch a stretch? I didn’t think so. One sip of this chick beer and you’ll know why it fits.
As you may have heard, on August 31 a fire occurred in our kitchen & unfortunately caused severe damage. We therefore will be closed during the month of September and most of October. We will Post our exact opening date as we come closer. We thank you for your support and we look forward to seeing you when we reopen. The beer tasting will still be held on Thursday, September 8 at 6:30 and we invite you to join us for that event for reservations feel free to call us at (714)971 5551 and leave a message and we will return your call. We invite you to try our sister location Al’s Big Burger & Mexican Grill located next door you may contact them directly at (714) 971 3131 for deliveries or special accommodations. Thank you for your patronage and we look forward to seeing you return.
Why the hell would a beer blog care about an Italian Restaurant? Well for one, it has a ten page beer menu. Aw, how cute, nice to see your liver perk up!
Tucked away near Disneyland and the Anaheim Convention center lies Carolina’s Italian Restaurant. A cozy little Italian “gastropub” tucked away in a strip mall with some interesting neighbors. Want to get your disability check cashed? The liquor store a few doors down can help you out. Need an Up-do? Get it right next door! Care for a Vampiro drink? You’ve come to the right place my friend!
This place is next door. Vampiro eh? No Werepanther? Maybe I’ll grab the Macho Man instead.
After being seated I was handed huge plate of fresh cheese bread and a beer menu larger than a Googolplex. Carolinas easily qualifies as a must-go-to beer place in OC. Why? The large selection is served in proper glassware and can be paired on request. I asked my waiter what would pair well with an eggplant parmesan, “oh, Green Flash Double Stout, sir”. Hmmm, what would pair well with Linguini with clam sauce? “Arrogant Bastard, sir”. What about spaghetti and meatballs? “Hmmmm, Saison Du Pont”. Well what about a Chicken Marsala cooked in a wine sauce? “I’d suggest something barrel aged, perhaps a Firestone Walker Abacus”. They will also reverse-pair beer with food. What goes with Budweiser? “Steaming pile of dog shit, sir.” Nicely done, touché my good man.
I’m not sure if these dudes are Cicerone certified or anything, but my girthy waiter was happy to talk beer and knew everything about their extensive offerings.
“waiter, there’s an eye in my beer”
I like to judge a place on basics first, then go back if I like the food. For Mexican food, I generally get a Bean, Rice, Cheese and Salsa burrito as a first choice. If it’s good, I go back. For Italian, I do Spaghetti and Meatballs. It has enough raw components to decide if the place is good. Pasta? Toothy. Sauce? Tangy. Spice? Nice. Meatballs? Perfect. Beer menu? Fuck yes. As I’m not a food blog I can safely give general statements like the food was spectacular, good, not worth taking home leftovers, or I spent the night in the emergency room on IV meds from eating there. I’d put Carolina’s food in the “good” category.
Protip#1: If you just want a couple beers, you are served some bomb ass cheese bread when you are seated. Order a soup and a beer. Full meal for $10!
Protip#2: They have beer/food pairing nights at a set price. Check their FB for info.
Friends Kristina and Dave mid backhand-slap contest.
It’s no secret among my friends that I’m in love with the Bruery Provisions in Orange. I check her Facebook daily, I look at her Twitter. I stop in sometimes for a quick flight and wedge of La Tur cheese. BP totally gets me. I wish I could quit you, BP!
I signed up for the “Throwing a Party with Charcuterie and Cheese” class with my wife and some friends. Why would I want to throw a party with cheese and charcuterie you ask? What the hell is charcuterie anyway? Spell check has no clue! Charcuterie is meat that has been prepared by salting, aging, smoking, etc. Think bacon, pâté, sausage, jerky, etc. It’s what our forefathers did before refrigeration to make their meat last longer and make them delicious.
Upon arrival, the plates were already prepped with five cheese, meat, nut and dried fruit pairings. I was happy to see a provided notebook describing everything in great detail, and a pen to take notes. BP doesn’t mess around! The class was moderated by Cheesemonger and Culinary Manager Kendra Birdwell, which seriously puts the “cute” in charcuterie. Single people should be asking this gal out! Seriously…she reminded me of a mix of Amy Adams and Zooey Deschanel, but with cheese breath. That might be a deal breaker for some of you love birds.
The class began and Kendra broke out into an introduction to tasting. “Sniff, look, taste, swirl, sniff, taste, swish, eat, taste, repeat!” For some reason all this stinky cheese and cured meat got me a little frisky. Matters got worse as my wife was rubbing my leg under the tasting room table! I was totally freaking out! I even had a daydream in slow-mo where my wife pulls the barrette out of her hair and waves it from side to side, revealing her gorgeous flowing hair. As her hair flies across my nose, I inhale deeply and quickly snap back to reality when all I smell is Goat Cheese and Truffle Mousse (cue the fog horn).
First Pairing: Journey to the Center of the Earth. The Bruery Salt of the Earth Beer, Humbolt Fog Goat Cheese and Fabrique Delices Truffle Mousse. I was excited as I’ve never had this beer as it’s not available really anywhere aside from here. The beer is cloudy with minimal head, aroma consisting of some coriander and some funk. It had some earthy and grassy notes on the quaff with a chalky-wheaty mouthfeel. I’m not a big goat cheese fan, and my wife isn’t a big funky beer fan. We were both shocked that we liked what we usually don’t care for! The beer paired exceptionally well with the cheese, heightening the flavors. The pâté also has earthy notes of mushroom and truffles. The entire package when consumed simultaneously was a perfect match, each one heightening the flavors of the other. The cheese flavor quickly ramps up and the pâté smooths it out. The beer brings it to a higher level, then cleanses for the next bite so it doesn’t cloy. In the photo above, the cheese and pâté are on the left with the dried apricot resting on top. The pâté looks like a small piece of pumpernickel bread, but it’s Mousse, with the consistency of a creamy hummus.
Second Pairing: Silence of the Lambs. Pictured on the lower left corner. Bruery Snicklefritz! with P’tit Basque Sheeps milk cheese and Molinary – Finnochiona Pork fennel salami. Beer was clear bronze, notes of coriander, ginger and maple on the nose, taste was typical Belgian strong with notes of toffee, spice, and dark fruits. The strong fennel in the salami brought me back to 1978 Pizza Hut Pepperoni. It was a total Ratatouille moment where the food critic goes back to his childhood on one taste of the dish. The cheese was too subtle to stand up to the big flavors in the beer, but was a nice contrast. “toughened your nipples didn’t it?” – Dr. Hannibal Lecter. By they way, I’m naming the pairings, they weren’t named.
Third Pairing: Cheesing My F’ing Brains Out!: Pictured on the top left corner. Bruery Batch 300, Cypress Grove – Midnight Moon cheese and Molinari Hot Salami. It’s always nice to taste some Citra hops as they usually have a tropical-citrusy aroma, but in this case all I got was a slight cat pee scent. Sometimes that hop can give ‘off’ aromas at less than ideal temperatures or ages, or perhaps the remnants of my cold threw off my nose. I was glad to see I was the only one getting that aroma. The cheese really worked well bringing the heat down from the salami and it also had those little dried calcium lactate crystals that I love so much. God I love those things…and they’re good for you too! Also paired was a simple olive oil cracker which helped cleanse the pallet.
Fourth Pairing:Autumnal Flavorgasm. Pictured on the upper right. Out of the five pairings, this was all of our favorite. The Bruery Autumn Maple, Beemster – XO Gouda, Prosciutto De Parma and candied walnuts. Alone, each of these were good, but altogether worked like the cast of Friends in my mouth (without Ross of course). Beer poured a hazy auburn with hints of allspice and nutmeg on the nose. Taste is a boozy clove yam-fest. Interesting fall beverage, although it’s got nothing on my Maple Wheat! Gouda is one of my favorite styles of cheese and this was like nothing I’ve ever had. The prosciutto was aged 18 months, was floppy, fatty, salty, delicious. I made a little mini-burrito with the meat as the tortilla, two wedges of cheese and the candied walnut. Flavorgasm with the beer! So no one told you life was gonna be this way *clap*clap*clap*clap* Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA! It’s like you’re always stuck in Richard Gere….Sorry for getting that song stuck in your head.
Fifth Pairing: the Big Pickle. I say that because we were all feeling a bit pickled at this point! Pictured on the bottom right (above). Beer is Bruery 3rd anniversary Cuir (pronounced queer?), Bleu De Causses cheese and Bresaola beef charcuterie. Beer had big time dark fruits on the nose and appeared a deep murky plum juice. Taste was booze, figs, raisins, molasses. I don’t remember much of this, luckily I took notes! Don’t laugh at my ‘taste of cheese’ comment! The drawing depicts how the flavors ramp up on my tongue, the vertical line is when I take a sip. I know it’s weird! Don’t be a hater!The class as a whole was extremely informative and Kendra was great at answering questions. She walked around to talk to people to get their opinions on everything. The booklet was thorough at explaining every detail. The Bruery is such a gem to have in Orange County and I couldn’t recommend taking a class there more. I was surprised at the older crowd; maybe the younger crowd thought it was too pricey? $35 was well worth it for the supplies alone.
The thing I really learned from the class is how to break down a cheese and meat selection at the store. I’ve always found it daunting to drop some serious cash on something that might not pair well. With my knowledge of beer, I’ll start with that and work my way to a cheese and meat that might work with it. Or, I can easily go with one of the pairings above. It really made it seem easy. Thanks Bruery Provisions!
Classes are usually on Wednesdays. Contact the Bruery Provisions, or check her twitter and the facebooks.
Ah, Fall is here. As the weather cools and the leaves begin to change…WAIT, WHAT? The leaves stay green and it’s hotter than Anne Hathaway in a cat suit! That doesn’t seem to stop local brewers from putting out Autumn seasonals. Nothing satiates on a hot day like a thick frosty nut brown ale in your mouth! GULP.
Thankfully we have Oktoberfest Märzen beer within the season which has natural drinkability™. Crisp German-style Lagers are great lawnmower beers on a hot day or if Anne Hathaway were to make a surprise visit.
"Look at the beer Miss Hathaway, you're a tiger, rowr!"
Note: If you are Anne reading this: I’ll keep some Vegan Kielbasa in the freezer if you decide to swing by as I heard you like polish-style things in your mouth. Wow that sounded creepy! I’m really not that creepy Anne! They don’t call me “King Kielbasa” for nothing! Okay I made that up, nobody has ever called me that. Just the voices in my head! HAHAHA!!! I’m totally joking of course. I’ve never been arrested like that Follieri jerk you were dating. We can unleash your inner-nerd and play some scrabble! I can even show you my home-made Anne Hathaway inspired doll collection I made entirely out of maple bar donuts and bacon strips!
Speaking of maple bar donuts with bacon strips, did you hear Deschuttes Brewery might be doing a collaboration beer with Portland based Voodoo Doughnuts? Yep, a beer that will have notes of their famous maple bacon doughnut. A rauch maple porter sure sounds delicious “donut”? I also love Voodoo’s “Gay Bar” doughnut; seriously. “Donuts are gay bagels” – Rob Delaney
Voodoo's Gay Bar. So yum.
Also, dumb gripe: Why is Oktoberfest beer Märzen style? Märzen translates to March in German. Why not name the beer for when it is ready to drink instead of when it is brewed? Crazy Germans, putting beer in caves with huge ice blocks.
I’m a huge Oktoberfest fan. Great German Lagers, Dirndl’s that proudly showcase a woman’s chest, green plastic Alpine feathered pimp hats and the always fashionable Lederhosen printed T-shirts. With Oktoberfest starting in a couple weeks I wanted to reflect on its awesomeness.
Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian and Salma Hayeck in Dirndls really stuffs my brat casing.
First Story: the Jägermeister tour bus – With a seven month pregnant wife, I hit the Phoenix Club. A few beers in I was talking to the Jaeger girls and tried to get an impromptu tour of their bus. From what I recall, they declined. We did a shot, high fived and and took this photo. I don’t recall much after that.
my pregnant wife kicked me in the balls five seconds after this photo.
Second: Shooting range winnings! The Phoenix club has an Olympic air rifle shooting range that they turn into an arcade through Oktoberfest. My friend and I combined our winnings and picked up a sweet Celine Dion mousepad. If you’re ever done it, you’ll know how incredibly hard it is to hit the small 1″ target bullseye three times at 50 feet while drunk.
I won it for you, René!
3 – Dancing 70 year old lady with a panda head. That is all.
do not sexually harass her.
4 – Going to the grocery store on the way home from Oktoberfest someone had the bright idea of buying more beer. German Lager must be a creeper buzz as the drunkeness hit so hard I had to hold on to endcaps in the store to get around. I scored 50 Bonus points when my wallet exploded in line attempting to pay. To this day I’m still surprised they sold to me! I had the spins something fierce that night. I haven’t been that slammed since college, and haven’t since.
5 – I went to an Oktoberfest with my father in-law and took the photo just below. A year later, the SAME lady asked me “wo ist dein Vater”? (where is your father) I was like, no way she remembers two drunks taking their pic…she said “mit dem Pferdeschwanz” (with the ponytail) pointing to her hair. I was shocked she remembered us a year later! Freaking awesome! Hopefully she will remember us this year.
Frau Lieberschatz misses you, Mike!
Other photos from Oktoberfest past:
my buddy elsa from High School
the love of my life and my turtleneck phase. Very Steve Jobs of me.
Hey! 1 man 99 cups!
Jeffro and I looking seriously tore up at the end of the night.
It’s loquat season! I tried four different recipes last year and this is the one turned out the best! The process is very similar to making wine from red grapes. Break out your food grade bucket and get picking!
Fruit Picking:
Pick fruit that is past the light orange stage, the fruit will be slightly squishy firm and a darker orange and may contain some sunburn. Discard smaller, bruised fruit.
Wash all fruit in a bucket of water.
Cut fruit in half on the bias and squeeze out the seeds. Remove stems.
Put fruit in sterilized blender.
As fruit fills the blender, blend it coarsely and put in a big freezer ziplock bag. Do 6pounds per bag.
Add crushed campden tablet to each bag and squeeze it around.
Bags of fruit will look brownish real quick like avocados, no worries.
(optional) Put bags in freezer until you are 100% ready to make wine…if you’re waiting for enough fruit, supplies, etc.
Add 1 crushed campen tab (4 if you didn’t put it with the fruit with step six above in the fruit picking stage)
Cover with cloth and a big heavy book to prevent cats from jumping in. Must be able to breath.If you brew beer with airlocks, don’t bother. The fermentation is going to go nuts…
After 12 hours, add pectic enzyme and recover. Make your yeast starter now.
After another 12 hours, add wine yeast starter and re-cover.
Stir twice a day, making sure fruit on top gets recycled with juice. If it dries out that’s bad.This is called “punching down the cap”.
Add yeast nutrient once a day (gram/gallon)
Continue stirring daily until the bubbling sound slows, take a hydrometer reading of your brix every few days.
This part is up to you where to finish fermentation. If you like sweeter wine, go for 1-3 brix. If you want dry, go past zero. Google to learn how to crash fermentation on fruit wine. I preferred it dry and let it go.
Strain through nylon jelly bag and squeeze well to extract as much juice as possible into another bucket or sterilized pot. I used a mesh bag and strainer into a sterilized stock pot. If you homebrew beer and have a mash-tun with a false bottom, use it.
Be sure and taste a bit at each racking and take notes. It will get very smooth as it ages.
If satisfied with sweetness, bottle the wine. If too dry, add stabilizer (sorpistatK) and sweeten to taste, adding up to 1/4 cup sugar dissolved in 1/4 cup water.
This wine can be drank young. Mine won bronze in the 2012 OC Fair after sitting a year. After 6 months it was great.
Viral Marketing with craft beer is in full swing as craft brewers don’t spend a dime traditional advertising. In the case of beer, the product must speak for itself, enough in fact, to let beer enthusiasts and social networking to do their bidding. Orange County is home to a couple cases of beer hype, with Bootleggers Knuckle Sandwich, and The Bruery’s Black Tuesday. What exactly is beer hype? Follow along with a few examples.
This man has duck lips, and bottle of Black Tuesday with a Jesus halo. (Credit Cambria Griffith)
Beer hype is a common practice with craft brewers nationwide as shown on Discovery Channel’s “Brew Masters” featuring Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA with a stalled fermentation. If you haven’t watched it, DFH’s 120 Min IPA is by far their biggest and most expensive beer to produce. They were forced to dump a whole tank. Beer nerds everywhere cried as they watched it go down the drain. The hype of the beer and it’s inability to be procured only throttled its value and made beer junkies want more. DFH recently shipped another batch, and as you can see on Twitter, it’s quite the pub draw.
Also speaking of Dogfish Head, their beer “Bitches Brew” (also featured on the Brew Masters show) instantly flew off shelves upon airing. Rancho Santa Margarita Selmas Tap Room bought a few cases, cellared them, and is currently selling bottles for $40. Fair game? Sure. Will people pay it? Yep. Will I? Hell the fuck no.
Thanks for the Bitches Brew, Wilbur.
The Bruery’s Black Tuesday got the hype engine started this past week with a super secret Reserve Society email. Beer geeks got out their super secret decoder rings and got to work. I saw the news posted on five different sites. 750ML of 19.5% ABV? Hell, I’m going to join the reserve society, buy as many bottles as I can, resell them on ebay to pay for the reserve society subscription ($195 a year for 2011). With a shortage of such a big beer, why not break tradition and use smaller bottles? (ala Avery Mephisopheles) In this case, the hype ruins my experience as I’m not willing to spend the money to be in a beer club and I’m not willing to wait in huge line for the chance to get a taste. I sure as hell am not going to drop a Benjamin on eBay. I’m sure its delicious, but there are other remarkable beers I can walk my happy ass into a store today and buy with no lines or jacked up prices.
Courtesy of Trouble Brewing, TheFullPint.com
The last example I’ll use is Russian River’s Pliny the Younger, and hell, the Elder too. I’ve had the Elder on a few occasions and marvel at its deliciousness, never tried the Younger. The Younger is driving the hype-mobile to the extreme. Last month someone told me of a spot in fucking February 2012, at 7AM where you can get a pint of 2012 Pliny the Younger. At 7AM? I’m sure there will be people camping out overnight. I’ll let you know the location for $100.
On tap “this hour” would have been more appropriate.
I didn’t want to come off as if I’m whining about Beer Hype, as I’m not. I think it is good for the industry if the beers live up to it. It gets people talking. It creates a draw to the pubs that carry good beers. It helps viral marketing of the breweries. Chances are, you see other beers that these breweries put out and are sometimes more inclined to try something new that is widely available. The only real problem I have with it is I will never try these beers as I don’t have the time or money to invest getting them. Sour grapes on my part, and I’m only furthering the hype by hyping them more here.
I think Jimmy Fallon said it best (via Twitter): “Thank you, microbreweries, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby.” And that is just it… baseball cards, comic books, stamps, coins, now beer. I’ll stick with the latter as it’s the most delicious. Cheers.
Okay, what does Yeast, Boobs and Beer have in common? No, it’s not my wife! It’s the Beer for Boobs charity! I first heard about these gals from White Labs yeast down in San Diego that do a monster 60 mile 3 day walk for Breast Cancer. They travel around breweries and brewpubs and offer a pint night. You buy their pint glass for ten bucks and get it filled twice with the beer of your choosing. You also get to take the glass home! If you homebrew, you’ve no doubt used White Labs yeast and know they make a quality product.
Cream Stout please! (this is not the glass btw)
I Google searched “Beer for Boobs” and came up with a Fox News link about great beers to pair with BBQ. Was Google insinuating that Fox News viewers were boobs? I don’t know. This blog is far from political, but I get a kick out of random humor like that. I also got a chuckle as I googled it again and misspelled Beers as “Beef”. Beef for Boobs absolutely makes no sense, yet I was laughing hysterically.
Beer for Boobs is a super walking, super cancer fighting walking crew. The idea for this fabulous team was born at White Labs in 2008. We wanted to raise yeast by day, and stomp out breast cancer by the mile. Our fearless leader & Vice President of White Labs, Lisa White, collected her superhuman yeast ranchers & friends to create our breast cancer fighting crew. Our crew walks 60 miles in 3 days this November to fight against breast cancer. 2010 marks our third year and we are already 10 pair of feet strong!
I’ll see you tonight! The Rolling Sushi Van will be on tap serving up some great rolls and my favorite “spicy tuna chips”. I suggest a Black Phoenix to pair with it.
Bootleggers is located just on the other side of the train tracks from Hero’s and the Fullerton SoCo District, making it a great starting off point for a night out in Downtown Fullerton. Hours are 4-9 Th-F 2-9 Sat. Phone (714) 871-BEER. They do Kegs, Growlers, tasters, pints and special “sport your stein” nights.
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