The only snakes in Ireland are the roads. Photo by Greg Nagel

I haven’t written a lot about St. Patricks Day, as it’s more of a “drinking” day than it is a “beer” day, and we, as in, you and I, have made the day less of celebrating Irish heritage, and more about:

1. Putting green dye in gross beer
2. Eating the world’s saddest corned beef “tacos” 
3. Flogging some poor gal named Molly
4. Creepy-ass Leprechauns! 

I’ve been to Ireland, and the beer they drink is BLACK. Corned beef? Turns out it was invented by the BRITISH. The lore behind it is also completely fake, as St.

Patrick never drove SNAKES out of Ireland because THE COUNTRY IS TOO FUCKING COLD FOR SNAKES AND NEVER HAD THEM TO BEGIN WITH.  

On St. Patrick’s day, we decorate the house with Irish trinkets, wear green, and cook up a mean Irish meal complete with some beer brewed at St.

James Gate, but I’ve seen a trend pop up recently and hope it sticks: Frühlingsfest, aka the German celebration of spring.

Frühlingsfest is sort of like Oktoberfest, but smaller, bringing in around 1.2 million guests as opposed to 6 million in October.

Although Germans usually kick their fests off in April (probably due to weather), our first day of spring is March 20th, so why not dust off that old stein, leather pants (lederhosen), and dirndl to get in the mood?

Here are a couple events worth checking out:

• March 18-19 Green Cheek Beer Co. Marchtoberfest (all three locations)
• March 25th Stereo Brewing Co Live Musik with German Folk Da Stube Buben
• April 22nd Enegren Brewing Co. in Moorpark Frühlingsfest

Maybe more? I’ll update this if anyone else is jumping on the spring festival train!