The internet is full of beer reviews. Boring, boring, beer reviews. Beer Advocate and Ratebeer are informative for finding styles, serving temps, cellaring info…but the reviews rival the average repetative yelp crap.

Here at OC Beerblog, we review beers a little different. And when I say we, I mean me.

1. I will write a haiku for the beer.
2. If the beer were a person, it would be  _____________ and why.
3. Instead of a formal rating, I will award it X amount of manbabies. A manbaby is an edited image where a kid and adult’s head is swapped via Photoshop. The rating is a variable amount and has no scale at which to judge it by. Much like beer, some days it’s good. Some days it’s better. Some beer goes better with food. Pallets are different as well. What might be a good beer to me, might be horrible to you.

So here it is: My first review. Bootleggers Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Black Phoenix!

Haiku:

dark fruits aroma

black as Patricia B’s hair

whiskey, peppers, sex!

(note, Patricia B. is the Owner/brewer’s wife that often works pouring beer there. I could have easily put her sister but I don’t know her name…shame on me!)

If this beer were a person:

Princess Tiana from Disney’s “Princess and the Frog”. Yes folks, your blogger has officially lost it! Imperial = Princess. Dark skin = dark beer. Loves to add hot sauce = roasted chili heat in the beer. Bourbon barrel aged = I drink bourbon while my daughter watches that movie fucking 400 times. It’s a damn fine beverage! I always thought Knuckle Sandwich would be the pinnacle of beers at Bootleggers; this easily tops it in complexity alone.

"Wiggle your middle finger on my froggy balls". Do frogs even have balls? I need to google that.

Overall I give this beer 400 drooling manbabies! I hope this beer catches on and is produced at regular intervals and not a one-off. I’ll be back until it runs out.

400 of these manbabies okay

Cheers! See you at Bootleggers!